Here is today's prompt from Sometimes Sweet:
Looking at all of the life you've lived so far, can you pinpoint one time frame or instance that you feel truly contributed to your growth as a person? This may be a turning point, a positive or negative experience, a moment or collection of moments that stand out in your mind...something that changed you as a whole.
Write about your own experience on your blog and share it with me and Sometimes Sweet in the comments. Links welcome!
This journal prompt couldn't be more fitting as I pack my belongings to head off to the place where the biggest turning point of my life occurred some six years ago. I'm flying to Denver tomorrow for an Americorps reunion and while my flight itinerary say DEN, my emotional itinerary says OMG. You see I abruptly left my Americorps assignment that year, and all my best gal pals, on a stroke of intuition.
My life in Denver was great. I was just out of college, my colleagues were the most interesting and fun people I'd ever spent time with, and I was adjusting well to a new city and a new life. All this despite facing the end of a two year live-in boyfriend situation, working seven days a week, and making very little cash. I was on a serious mission to be the most independent, fearless bitch you ever met. And oh baby, did I ever accept that mission full-force. It was just so great to be free; free from boyfriends, free from living near anyone I knew, free from college, free of expectations. I had never felt more like myself. In no time at all I had an amazing group of friends, a new boyfriend, and dreams for the future I'd never even considered.
And then came the ring. My live-in boyfriend situation showed up in Denver unexpectedly and asked me to marry him. I said yes. I didn't think, I just said yes. Yes to a man that in some weird knowing way, I always knew I'd be with.
He came to Denver and moved in with me. Everything changed. I couldn't be Denver Gwen anymore because here was this person who knew me in a very different context and it just didn't work anymore. We fought. I wanted my Denver life and the ring. It just didn't work both ways.
He rented a U-Haul and started to re-pack his things. We cried all night after making the decision to split, again. The day he was to leave I was sitting in a salon getting my haircut.
And then something hit me hard in the guts. As I watched the stylist comb my hair I knew that this wasn't how it ended. Something else took over and there was no way I was going to let him leave like that. I blew off work and rushed back to the apartment. We went for a walk. As we circled the park again and again, I knew it was time to go, this wasn't going to work in Denver, in the context of my new life.
So we bought some plane tickets that very hour and got the hell out of there.
This was the hardest choice I ever made. But those rocks in your gut don't lie. Do I miss my friends and think about how different my life could be? Yes. Do I have an amazing husband and life I never could have dreamt of in a million dreams? Hell yes.
It just doesn't work both ways, and that's ok, this is how it's meant to go.